How to Make, and Keep, Friends While in College
OK, so you’re excited to leave home and start a new chapter of life in college. You should be excited. Higher education offers a wonderful opportunity for you to flourish and make new friends on campus.
But you might be asking: What’s the best way to meet people? And even though you may be miles apart, is it possible to maintain the vibrant relationships you’ve already established in your hometown?
Making new connections and keeping up with old friends can be a challenge, so here are some helpful tips for how to do both.
How Do I Make Friends in College?
Join clubs and activities
One way to meet people is through campus events, clubs, and extra-curriculars. Whatever events sound interesting to you, there’s a good chance other liked-minded people will attend. Joining a sport, theater, or club that meets regularly will give you even more of a chance to befriend others with a common interest. The first step to finding your crowd starts with getting involved.
Be social with people in your residence hall
For students living on campus, residence halls are built-in communities for meeting others. Some schools include living-learning communities where you and other first- year students are grouped into the same classes and environments to help foster friendship. Even if you are not in a living-learning community, meeting your hall neighbors and chatting with your Resident Assistant are great ways to connect with people.
Know you’re not alone
Don’t get discouraged if you can’t build solid friendships quickly. College can get lonely — especially at the beginning — but don’t lose hope! Most of your fellow freshman are experiencing the same feelings and looking for friends, too. Give yourself a couple months to settle in and learn about the campus. We’re confident you’ll meet plenty of folks you enjoy being around. It may just take some time.
How do I maintain my hometown friendships?
Set realistic expectations
While initiating new relationships requires intentionality, you also must be realistic about how many friends you can reasonably maintain. Hanging out regularly with all of your hometown friends isn’t sustainable. Stay in contact with those who you know can go a long time without in-person interaction and pick up right where you left off. These friends are reliable and understand that adult life means spending time apart.
Social media shouldn’t be everything
Social media can be a great way to keep up with friends and acquaintances alike. Because it doesn’t take much effort, communicating to close friends exclusively through apps may come across as lazy. For those you don’t want to lose touch with, ask to call occasionally so you can hear about their life in detail.
Don’t wait — reach out
The hardest part of long-distance friends may be remembering to contact them. If catching up with an old friend happens to cross your mind, text them right then. Putting it off or waiting for them to reach out first might mean missing potential times to reconnect.
Keep meetings low key
Not every get-together you plan has to be exciting or adventurous. The point is to spend time together and hear about their life, so you want an environment where you can focus and hear each other well. Grabbing lunch, coffee, or ice cream, going for a walk in the park, or playing board games at someone’s house are fun and casual ways to spend time together.
Long-Distance Relationships
Long-distance relationships may result from meeting someone at school who doesn’t live close to you or dating someone from home and moving away during the school year. Whatever time you are apart, going long-distance can be difficult, so we’ve pulled together some guidelines for how to work through it.
Create routines
Long-distance relationships are maintained by loyalty through dependability. By finding consistent times to call or text each other, you prioritize your partner and let them know you’re reliable. If the relationship is only worthwhile when it stays convenient, then why go long-distance? Consistently hearing what your significant other is up to, even if it’s mundane, helps them feel remembered.
Respect boundaries
On the other hand, always contacting your partner even while they’re busy may annoy them. Leaving them alone while they are at work or at other engagements shows you respect their time. Part of making a routine includes scheduling around each other’s responsibilities. Creating a healthy balance between work and spending time together happens in every relationship, but without physical boundaries, long-distance partners must be intentional about contacting each other.
Let them know you’re thinking of them
If you’re in a long-distance relationship, look for creative ways to show someone you care. Send a letter, a card, a small care package, or a song recommendation that reminds you of them. That little extra effort can make a big impact. Pro tip: If you want to surprise your significant other, set up a movie night over Google Meet and stream through the presentation feature.
Take a chance and visit
All relationships require sacrifice — whether it’s time, money, or effort. For long-distance dating, this can mean making an occasional visit. The reward of time together by taking some days off school or work to literally go the extra mile is worth it. This will require good judgment about the best time to meet and how long to stay together. If you both have transportation, meeting in the middle can be a great option, too. No matter what, going out of your way to brighten a day can positively impact your relationship.
Want to spend more time at college with friends?
Looking to spend more time with friends in college? Get a head start on your education by taking online courses before you hit campus.
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